David Ogilvy said direct response was his secret weapon. He said anybody interested in advertising should begin by writing direct response.
He could read any copy and tell immediately if it was written by somebody who knew how to craft direct response copy, which is hard selling content that most people assume they have on their websites and landing pages.
They shouldnโt assume.
Iโm going to take this opening sentence that I chose at random from Progressive Insurance and show you how the copywriter could make it lead to more conversions than it does now.
โWith Progressive’s specialized boat insurance coverage, you can relax knowing you have coverage for your boat or personal watercraft.โ
Iโm seeing this sentence for the first time, just like you are. Here are my suggestions:
First, Do Away with Ambiguous Words and Phrases
โSpecialized boat insuranceโ
This works in a Blue Book exam, but not in our era of skepticism. โSpecializedโ in this case isnโt fluff – itโs referring to varieties of boat insurance based on the type craft – but at the outset thereโs no time to tell me that…
…Why mention a word I canโt understand in your opening sentence?
If you think one word doesnโt mean anything, in direct response, every word costs or makes you money. Respect your reader and appeal to her with every word on the page. Otherwise youโre going to lose her.
Think of Tom Cruise screaming, โShow me the money!โ
Four words stand between him and oblivion.
Online, itโs just one word.
Bring the Prime Benefit First
Apparently I, as a boat owner, am feeling antsy about my insurance coverage. Relieving my anxiety is Progressiveโs primal benefit, and I should relax now because I can get coverage for my boat.
This is nonsense: โWith boat insurance you can relax…because youโll know you have boat insurance.โ
I already know that Iโm on a page about boat insurance and I expect to get it – therefore getting it isnโt a benefit.
You canโt lull me to clickโฆ
…Show me a pile of gold.
The first sentence should begin to answer my unasked questions about what separates Progressiveโs boat insurance from competitorsโ products, or what makes it better than going without insurance at all.
Use Data
Incidentally, here is where data is helpful:
If most people come to this website with insurance – what benefits can Progressive deliver better?
And, if most people come to this website without boating insurance – how can Progressive prove that buying insurance is better than going without?
Write About Your Client Before Your Company
Letโs try both. Iโm going to include these points as well:
- Client benefit is the first phrase in the sentence.
- Itโs the most exciting benefit of the product.
- The brand name only comes after the benefit.
Results
Which gives us:
โSave money when you insure your boat or personal watercraft with Progressive.โ
Or
โLearn what youโre missing without Progressiveโs boat or personal watercraft insurance.โ
And the incendiaryโฆ
โYouโll pay more without Progressive insurance on your boat or personal watercraft.โ
This isnโt the most elegant copy, but itโs gripping to someone looking for boat insurance, which is the only person itโs written for. You can induce someone to click by turning down their anxiety if itโs too high, or increasing it if itโs too low.
Saving money will bring relief to someone who is skittish.
Paying more will bring anxiety to someone who is complacent.
Progressive could win on this page if its direct response copy had a real, motivating benefit.
Floโs ubiquitous presence in the insurance market means having weaker copy doesnโt hurt its bottom line.
But What About Your Business?
If youโre a smaller business with limited marketing channels you need to fight for every word attached to your brand.
Your secret weapon is direct response copy.